Question: “I have a very dirty mind but I can’t ever bring myself to say what I’m thinking to my boyfriend or what I want him to do to me. Can you help?” – Alison, 20, female, with boyfriend of 2 months
Answer: In short, do what feels comfortable and true to your own desires. Long answer – start with compliments (“you’re a great kisser,” “I love how you touch me,” “you have a sexy body”), use your body language (guide his hands to your body, rub your leg against his, grind against him), and gradually try saying something sexy (“I want to ride you hard,” “I can’t wait to feel my mouth on your cock,” “fuck me against the wall”). But say something that is sexy to you. Your sexiness will project on him.
If you have issues with confidence or shyness, try talking when he has your full attention, whispering in his ear, or slipping love notes to him, while your confidence builds.
You really can’t go wrong unless you don’t try. Also, try dirty talk gradually as you build your preferred dirty talk vocabulary – meaning, find what words work for both of you. For example, you may prefer one word over another when describing your private parts (“pussy”, “wetness”, “opening”, “butterfly”, etc.).